Let’s Try a “Sleep Divorce”
So many of my clients complain that no one is getting enough sleep. My approach? This new “trend” with a snappy name… Sleep Divorce! But let’s be real… it’s just sleeping in a different place than your partner. Here are some benefits I share with you … from personal experience.
Better Sleep for Both of You
Fewer Disturbances: Sharing a bed means dealing with snoring, tossing and turning, differing sleep scheduled, and sometimes a crying baby who wants to co-sleep. Sleeping separately means you both get a peaceful night without interruptions.
Personal Comfort: Each of you can create your perfect sleep setup—comfy mattress, ideal room temperature, and your favorite lighting.
Improved Mood and Health
Less Grumpiness: Lack of sleep can make anyone cranky. When you're both well-rested, you'll be more patient and kind to each other and your baby.
Health Boost: Good sleep is essential for your health. It keeps your mind sharp, strengthens your immune system, and reduces stress. A healthy partner is a happy partner.
Better Relationship Quality
Fewer Fights: Sleep deprivation can lead to more arguments. When you both get enough rest, you’re better equipped to handle disagreements calmly.
More Intimacy: You don’t have to share a bed to stay close. Spend quality time together before bed or plan regular date nights to keep the spark alive.
Personal Space
Independence: Having your own sleeping space can give each of you a sense of independence and personal space, which can be refreshing.
Personal Routines: You can each stick to your own nighttime routines without disturbing the other, making for a more relaxing end to your day. (The research shows that going to bed at the SAME TIME every night makes a huge difference in your mental and physical health!)
How to Make Sleep Divorce Work
Talk About It: Discuss why you’re considering sleeping separately and make sure you both understand it’s about getting better sleep, not about the state of your relationship.
Set Boundaries: Agree on how you’ll spend time together before bed and make sure you have regular times to reconnect- giving an intentional kiss goodnight every night makes a big difference.
Stay Flexible: Be open to tweaking the arrangement as needed. It might take a bit of trial and error to find what works best- and remember it doesn’t have to be like this forever.
Cozy Up Your Spaces: Make both sleeping areas comfortable and inviting so that you both feel happy and relaxed in your own spaces.
I am by no means advocating for this if it’s something you think would NEVER work for you. But it’s worth a try if you really need sleep. And remember… it doesn’t have to be forever. Pregnancy and postpartum is only a chapter… a season in your life. I promise there will be a day again where you and your partner sleep in the same bed. (Or maybe you’ll enjoy this so much that you don’t!)
