Rosemary’s Birth Story

It’s been a week since we welcomed our third baby into the world. She has been my companion since I left the NICU and dove into my business full time. And now here she is, on the other side. Our family feels complete. And, I have started processing her birth.

Here is the first of I’m sure what will be a handful of tidbits that I hope will help you all along your journeys too :)

I had been having prodromal labor and though contractions had started capturing my attention, and I even removed myself from my family so that I could focus- I still wasn’t willing to admit that this could be it.

I was 40w4d when everything started, and somehow we still didn’t feel ready. We added more plastic to the carpeting in our room for the birth tub and body fluids :) and despite having ample time to prepare, things that I needed postpartum were still somehow nowhere to be found (peri bottle?? Why were you so hard to find??)

I started with some seated movements, chin to chest, releasing tension in my neck and shoulders, and did some seated cat cow for mobility in my rib cage and pelvis before transitioning to hands and knees!

I worked on hip circles, and brought some asymmetry into my movements, lunges on the stairs, lunges on the mat, and then allllllll the hip circles and even combining hip circles and lunges!

I spent a long time in puppy pose- please know that this is sped up 5x - and there’s a lot of just resting that you aren’t seeing because I cut it out to keep you from getting bored ;) and then Malasana to relax my pelvic floor.

I ended with some standing lunge / hip circles - with a foot on the block for some added asymmetry.

As you can see we got the tub set up, and when all was said and done, we set up the massage table so I could rest and get a massage from my amazing 🤩 partner.

Finally, I had to vocalize through contractions and tried to get some sleep between them (spoiler, I wasn’t able to sleep)

At around midnight our doula @doula.alison showed up, but I was coping well with my hypnobirthing tracks thanks to Liz’s hypnobirthing class at @birthfirsteducationcenter and lots of time spent with Sivan at @rosecitybabypdx … so I asked Alison to sleep! She slept in my daughters bed, my husband slept in the guest room, and I laid in bed hoping I might sleep - but sleep didn’t come!

I was vocalizing and horse lips breathing through contractions for about 2.5 hours before I finally decided it was time to wake everyone up.

This is where I started thinking too much.

I hadn’t called our amazing midwife Angela @glowmidwiferyportland and @monet12319 soon enough for my last birth, so I wanted to make sure to call her, and Kyra our photographer from @earthsidepdx - but was still second guessing the possibility of a false alarm.

With contractions coming every couple of minutes and lasting for a minute- it seemed like time - but then they would slow down or speed up, and I know that my contractions don’t follow the typical textbook pattern but somehow I couldn’t get out of my head.

Alison finally convinced me to call Angela, and though she and her student Monet were at another birth, they were able to make it to my house by 3:30am.

I was in transition by the time they arrived… but I remained in transition for hours with slow progress.

I was in and out of the tub, on and off hands and knees, on the toilet, on my side, and lunging on stairs … and getting so so so tired. Hugging Angela (midwife), hugging Monet (student), squeezing Shaffer’s hands, Shaffer and Alison traded off using the rebozo to shake me around ;) Alison showed Shaffer squeezing my head which I loved…

And with all the time, and the screaming (I’m a loud birther), and the fatigue, with what I perceived as slow progress… and of course my monkey brain comparing my birth experiences (one that lasted 4 days and the other that was speedy) … I started to become discouraged.

So after trying all the things to help move myself towards pushing- the rebozo, the hugging my amazing midwife @glowmidwiferyportland and hugging my student midwife Monet @monet12319 , the lunging, everything… I was finally getting close, but still felt like she wasn’t moving down.

It turned out I had an anterior cervical lip… and she wasn’t moving past it.

For those of you who don’t know my first birth story- I had pushed against a cervix that wasn’t dilated and a swollen cervix has a hard time dilating… it was a 4 day saga… so I started to feel fear enter my mind.

Even though this was different, even though I knew that a cervical lip shouldn’t affect much, and even though I was surrounded by an incredible team… I was afraid that pushing against that lip would be detrimental to the whole experience- that I would have to transfer to the hospital or all sorts of other scary things that I know too much about from working in the NICU and doing what I do.

I went to sit on the toilet and try pushing there with yoga blocks under my feet (so great- such a pro tip from @doula.alison)

And with that push my water finally broke.

We left off when my water broke on the toilet! (Yay for amniotic fluid going in the toilet and not all over everywhere!)

My midwife and I both checked the amniotic fluid for meconium- one of the challenges of knowing so much about birth is that my brain didn’t want to surrender… it was keeping track of all the little details as we went - deciding if it should be afraid.

I had been working through contractions in so many different positions to help myself dilate from 8 to complete… and after my water broke I felt ready to push but that fear… the fear that I would push against a cervical lip that would swell… was holding me back.

So I asked my midwife to see if when I pushed, she was actually moving. Turned out that lip was holding her back. And amazing midwife that she is, she was able to hold back the cervical lip for three contractions, with me on my back, which finally allowed baby girl to descend into my pelvis.

I pushed on my side for a few more contractions but I was in such excruciating pain from my hips (throughout my pregnancy I had trouble laying on my sides)- it just wasn’t sustainable to stay there.

Making the progress I had hoped for, I was ready to make my way back into the tub.

Getting in the tub was wonderful- and with the warmth of the water I felt like I could really control her descent.

By 6:59am her head reached my perineum, and I breathed and allowed the tissue to stretch, I even reached down and supported my labia, and felt her head as everything stretched and released. I allowed it to burn, allowed her to move back and forth a few times, and all my fear was gone because I could feel that she was coming.

One of the midwife’s even charted that I said, “she’s coming! She’s coming!”

Very exciting for all of us. Another cool thing that was charted was that I was “roaring with contractions” which feels very true 🐯

I finally gave a fierce push and her head was out!

The time between head coming out and baby coming out is scary for lots of reasons, especially in the water.

I was so excited that her head was out. As I waited for the next contraction I heard my midwife say, “I need them out of the water, now.”
And all I could think was wait- I have another contraction coming!

It was a long 2 minutes between her head and the rest of her coming out, but I pushed again with the next strong contraction and out she came! My midwife was able to get her to my chest and her cord was around her neck, so we got that squared away and she immediately let out a big cry.

As I caught my breath, we saw a gush of blood, and decided it would be best to birth the placenta outside the tub.

I made my way to the bed and very quickly the placenta decided it was time to come! (Of course, this happened right on the edge of the bed and onto the three inch area of the rug that wasn’t covered in plastic… hydrogen peroxide for the win!)

In my previous births I had to think about the placenta coming and work to birth it, but this one was ready - and it was one of the largest placentas my midwife has seen!

In the last photo you can see me holding our girl’s hand and going “shhhhhh” - it’s so reflexive to shhhh when a baby is crying… but I am a huge believer that babies cries are communication and don’t need to be shushed. 🙃 so this is just a testament to that ingrained reflex I have- to facilitate hands to mouth and shhhhh.

Ultimately, baby cleared her airway beautifully, and I birthed a very healthy placenta without hemorrhaging! Lucky lucky lucky.

After birthing the placenta, we watched in fascination as this fresh baby went through all the beautiful stages of a breast crawl …

✨ Resting: self explanatory- birth is exhausting and everybody needs a break after that
✨ Awakening: eyes open, baby stirs
✨ Activity: head starts to move, maybe even turn as the baby’s reflexes start to activate
✨ Crawling: stepping reflex, galant reflex, ATNR, grasp, and rooting reflex all get coordinated to help the baby make their way to the nipple!
✨ Familiarization: mouth opens, tongue movements tasting the skin, baby salivates
✨ Attaching: baby latches on to the breast, and may suck!

When she cried I could immediately see her tongue tie - all my babies have had them so it wasn’t unexpected- her latch was painful 😣 and pinchy, and she immediately gave me blisters.

Thankfully I was able to do a bunch of bodywork for her- infant massage as well as Craniosacral and I even had the amazing @carol.gray.cst.yoga come and give her a treatment in preparation for her release! I always recommend doing bodywork before the release- so much more effective!

After that initial gorgeous moment with the breast crawl, my midwife checked to see if I had torn- a first degree 😮‍💨 and we decided not to suture it - (I’ve had a 2nd degree tear sutured and the other two I didn’t, and I much preferred the healing process from the less severe un-sutured tears!)

Next, Shaffer was finally able to do skin to skin, and really meet her for the first time… her name is Rosemary.

We did some fundal massage which brought on those wild after pains (yay for cramp bark tincture!)

Finally, we all had some delicious chicken pot pies fresh from the oven, and the team got to work on cleaning everything up!!!