The Secret Ingredient to Breastfeeding Success: Partner Support
Breastfeeding is such a beautiful and natural part of parenthood, but let’s be real—lack of sleep, body healing, learning a new skill? It’s hard!
While we often focus on the nursing parent and baby, it’s easy to forget how crucial a partner’s support can be in making this journey smoother and more connected for everyone.
So many partners have no idea how to help… But I am here to tell you, that whether it’s providing emotional encouragement, handling practical tasks, or simply being present, a supportive partner can make all the difference in the breastfeeding experience.
Why Partner Support Matters
Breastfeeding isn’t just about physical nourishment; it’s deeply emotional and draining. But partners if you are reading this- that mama’s brain has been RE-WIRED to keep her baby alive. She wants to nourish that baby more than anything, even if there is a rational side of her that says formula would be fine–everything she has read has told her breastfeeding is important, and even if she has read nothing, her neurobiology is telling her it’s the right thing to do.
You, as the partner play a key role in creating an environment where breastfeeding feels sustainable and rewarding. Research, including insights from the Mayo Clinic, has shown that when partners are actively involved, breastfeeding rates and durations increase significantly.
Here’s why partner support is so vital:
Encouragement Boosts Confidence: Many new parents question whether they’re producing enough milk or doing things “right.” A supportive partner can offer reassurance and encouragement during moments of doubt. Whatever you do, don’t tell them to give up!
Practical Help Reduces Stress: From cleaning pump parts to fetching snacks during a late-night feed, small acts of service go a long way in lightening the load.
Emotional Support Prevents Burnout: Breastfeeding can be exhausting, especially in the early weeks. A partner who listens and empathizes helps the nursing parent feel less alone in the journey.
What Partners Can Say and Do to Help
It’s not always easy to know how to offer support, especially if breastfeeding is new territory for you. Here are practical ways to help, along with words of encouragement to share:
1. Provide Practical Support:
Take care of everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping so the nursing parent can focus on feeding and recovery.
Keep the breastfeeding station stocked with essentials: water, healthy snacks, burp cloths, and any breastfeeding accessories.
Help with nighttime feeds by bringing the baby to the nursing parent or handling diaper changes so they can get a little extra rest.
Wash and sterilize pump parts and bottles to ease the burden of daily maintenance.
Get enough rest yourself so that you are not grumpy!
2. Be Present and Attentive:
Sit with them during breastfeeding sessions. Sometimes just being there is enough! (My partner read me a really weird book in the middle of the night when I was up feeding our newborn… for subsequent babies his sleep was WAY more important to me than his company but we can’t talk about that later)
Make sure they are comfortable: offer physical support, like an extra pillow or a back rub, or a hand rub, or a foot rub!
3. Encourage and Reassure:
Say things like:
“You’re doing such an amazing job.”
“Our baby is thriving/growing/gigantic because of you.”
“It’s okay to feel tired or frustrated. I’m here for you.”
Acknowledge their hard work: “I see how much effort you’re putting into this, and I’m so proud of you.”
Reassure them during challenging times: “It’s normal to have ups and downs. We’ll figure this out together.”
Definitely have conversations about what is working and what isn’t but do not - whatever you do - try to convince them to stop breastfeeding. They will resent you forever if it is not their idea to stop. BUT- if they express desire to stop, just support them in any way you can. It’s not your body so support them in whatever they want to do.
4. Advocate for Their Needs:
Baby hasn’t arrived yet? Book a prenatal lactation class. It has everything you need to know to get you started.
Protect their rest by limiting visitors or setting boundaries when necessary.
Support their choices around breastfeeding, whether that means exclusively nursing, pumping, or supplementing with formula.
Struggling? You don’t have to do this alone! BOOK AN APPOINTMENT WITH US! My team can see you virtually, or we offer comprehensive support at home in and around Portland, Oregon.
Beyond the Feeding
It’s important to remember that breastfeeding is just one aspect of parenting. Partner support extends far beyond feeding—it’s about building a foundation of teamwork and mutual care that will strengthen your bond as a family.
Whether you’re cleaning bottles, offering a shoulder to lean on, or just sitting beside them during a 3 a.m. feed, every effort matters. Together, you’re creating a nurturing environment not only for your baby but also for each other.
You are going to have to shift how you see roles in the house… and maybe certain tasks you never did before are yours now! Be Flexible. Enjoy the ride.
Final Thoughts
Breastfeeding isn’t a solo journey—it’s a family effort. When partners actively support and empower their loved ones, they’re not just helping their baby get the best possible nourishment; they’re strengthening their connection and laying the groundwork for a thriving family dynamic.
Together, you can navigate this incredible journey and give your little one the best possible start in life.
Torrance, N. (2023, February 9). A partner's role in breastfeeding. Mayo Clinic Community Health. Retrieved from https://communityhealth.mayoclinic.org/featured-stories/partner-role-breastfeeding
